WWMW?

OMG Michelle looked amazing at the inauguration. That color... that fabric... could you die. It's by Isabel Toledo who is kind of one of the fiercest people alive.

Today is such an amazing amazing day. It's also a day where people keeping saying "an historic event" on like MSNBC, and no matter how correct it is, it always annoys me when people say "an historic." I GET that it's correct, it's just... ugh. Anyway, back to the most pressing issue of the year... my new running ideas column titled "WWMW?" - What Would Michelle Wear? Here are some of my suggestions for a Michelle Obama spring. She is such a hottie!! And a Capricorn, God bless.

I kept my picks on the cheap... um, sort of. As cheap as I could. I tried not to Sarah Palin-out on them. I mean I avoided COUTURE.

Don't you think Michelle should wear Tory Burch for casual events?







A little Ralph of course. God bless America.




She would look amazing in gray and white from Banana Republic:






The styling Brooks Brothers did for this shoot is the worst (they made this fierce dress for mature women look all frumpy!) - but if Michelle wore this with some fierce shoes and jewelry it would be HOT for spring:



These shoes are what I'd put the Brooks Brothers shirtdress with:




This amazo necklace needs to go with a neutral dress for a luncheon or something (let's all remember that neutral is the New Black):




(didn't really stick to my inexpensive plan on this one - but whatevs she's the FIRST LADY give the woman some NARCISO)



I could go on forever and ever. I have to stop for now. Michelle... call me. I mean, I know you have the time, there's no one trying to get your attention right now, like the whole world or anything. But you should call... I do conservative-fun-chic. And I'm tall. I get it.

Coming up next on Intelegance... things you can actually buy that look like Michelle's inauguration outfit.

TODAY IS THE MOST DEPRESSING DAY OF THE YEAR

Today, January 19th, is the most depressing day of the year, according to studies. I'm not depressed though, because my astrologer told me that all through January Mercury is in retrograde and that's why everyone's life feels like it's falling apart. So basically like, don't bother leaving your house. She said that in February it will return (or whatever the opposite of retrograde is) and all will be good again and it will be time for new beginnings. So don't worry, EVERYONE is mad stressed right now, it's not just you... and the most depressing day of the year is already halfway over!

But to combat the depression I am posting the most awesome outfit ever of all time #1.

THE NEW BLACK

Whoa... whoever said neutrals are the new black was totally not even joking. I'm not even going to bother posting all the Golden Globes Angelina etc neutrals explosion because... boring. But here's some fashion backup for the incredibly true statement that neutrals are the new black... and thank GOD for it, because I am soooooo boorrrrrred with black. Gray is also the new black. Maybe gray is the new white? No, I still like white. Gray is the new... yellow.

Anyway:

AN AMERICAN TRANNY

I was asked to write a book foreword by my associate designer at work, who is deciding to focus on writing an existential fashion masterpiece novel instead of focusing on like, being on time for work. This is what I came up with. I wish there was some sort of symbol for "large eye roll."





The MF credit obvs stands for Master of Fierceness.

MY FAVE FIND OF TODAY

ANDY BOROWITZ: A LETTER FROM BERNIE MADOFF (LOL)

Hilars!!




From The Huff Post cutie Andy Borowitz:

Dear neighbors,

Please accept my profound apologies for the terrible inconvenience that I have caused over the past weeks. Ruth and I appreciate the support we have received.

Best regards,
Bernard Madoff

-- Letter from Bernie Madoff to his neighbors as quoted in the New York Times, January 12th.


P.S. I'm sorry my last letter to you was so short, but my ankle bracelet started beeping and that totally freaked me out.

I didn't get a chance to tell you just how much Ruth and I have appreciated the support you've shown -- especially all of those lively and memorable messages you keep leaving on our voicemail in the middle of the night. While some of the language is a little saltier than what I'm used to hearing, it's very much in keeping with the rambunctious spirit that this building is known for. Good times!

We also have gotten a kick out of all of the neat decorations you've left outside our apartment door. I never knew what I would look like in effigy! If the smoke detector in the hallway hadn't gone off I wouldn't have gotten a chance to see the darned thing before it burnt to a crisp. Anyway, clearly a lot of work went into it, so to whomever made it, way to go.

Now, in exchange for all the support you've shown me, I'd like to do something for you -- in the form of the investment opportunity of a lifetime. Due to the difficult market conditions we now face, I unfortunately can't offer you anything like the returns I've previously delivered to investors, but for the lucky few of you whose applications I deign to accept, I can guarantee an annual nine percent return from now until the end of time. This fund will be closed to new investors as of midnight tonight, so to qualify for the first tier please wire $500,000 in earnest money ASAP (see bank information in the Cayman Islands below). Please attach a 500-word essay explaining why you deserve to give your money to me.

This building has always been about neighbors helping each other out, so in exchange for extending this unique investment opportunity to you, there are a few favors I'd like to ask in return. First, does anyone in the building know anything about melting down gold jewelry so that it doesn't jangle around when you put it in a FedEx envelope? Also, do any of you have access to a twin-engine plane that can fly 1500 miles without refueling? One other thing I would totally be interested in is if one of you knows a plastic surgeon capable of performing a fairly thorough redoing of someone's face in his apartment - for example, making a 70-year-old man look like Benicio del Toro or Miley Cyrus. Failing that, do any of you have access to some super-realistic latex masks? Any of the above favors would be awesome.

Oops, that darned ankle bracelet is going off again. Which reminds me: it would be totally fantastic if one of you (or someone you know) knew something about disabling/removing electronic ankle bracelets. Anyway, I better go now, so let me say goodbye for now and sign off with our building's longstanding motto: "No Snitchin."

You know you love me,
XOXO Bernie

RECESH SHOPPING - FOREVER 21

Honoring the recession, I am sharing my current Forever 21 picks. Everything is like, under $30. Which is money saved but that you'll additionally have to pay your therapist after your nervous breakdown from the lines and service in the store.

A TROMPE L'OEIL TRIBUTE

Trompe L'Oeil...the name given to the style of painting
which achieves the sense of being three dimensional. In other words the
painted object is suppose to "trick" the viewer into believing the object
is actually real.


I am loving loving loving all this trompe l'oeil-inspired fashion. As follows:

Forevs 21:


Felix Rey:


Urbs:


Koolto:


Showpony (on All Things Original):


3.1 Phillip Lim:


AKA New York:

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, MARC JACOBS

Good Christ. I just had a heart attack when I saw this photo of Marc Jacobs in St. Barth's. A little bit because I'm mad jealous that I'm currently not in St. Barth's - but more IMPORTANTLY - LOOK AT HIM! Holy f***ing sh*t. He has completely transformed his entire body. He is a completely different person.

NEW ROLE MODEL FOR 2009 - MARC JACOBS AS IF HE WASN'T AWESOME ENOUGH.

In case you forgot - this is the old Marc Jacobs.



Time to hit the gym. Dammit.

WTF ANNOYING

WTF? BCBG tempts you to the Herve Leger part of the website, shows you the most amazing rainbow Herve Leger dress of like all time, then gives you no link to actually buy it. Or even just view it bigger and screen-fondle it then close out of it immediately in a fit of guilt as not to spend your entire rent on one dress.

LOVING THIS! (SUMMER OF)

Summer of Love

This is a fierce print. I don't know why I'm blogging about love crap twice in a row, since I think love is stupid currently - but maybe nature is just balancing me out. This print is hot though.

EVIL ANGEL

"There is no evil angel but Love."-William Shakespeare, Love's Labour Lost, Act 1, Scene 2





Number 8

It was a face which darkness could kill
in an instant
a face as easily hurt
by laughter or light

'We think differently at night'
she told me once
lying back languidly

And she would quote Cocteau

'I feel there is an angel in me' she'd say
'whom I am constantly shocking'

Then she would smile and look away
light a cigarette for me
sigh and rise

and stretch
her sweet anatomy

let fall a stocking
-Lawrence Ferlinghetti

LISTEN UP! SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE SOUNDTRACK

OMG. Slumdog Millionaire was all right... ok it was pretty good... But the soundtrack is MAD f***ing DOPE!

Check it out. Buy it. Trust.

Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa

OK, I just found out a few things that totally blew my mind. Serious.
First of all - Lisa Bonet - or actually, sorry, Lilakoi Moon, has been my favorite person ever since the Denise Huxtable years. I watched High Fidelity and Enemy of the State like, over and over, just for her scenes. I wish she would do more but I guess that's why she's awesome.

So anyway, I haven't really been keeping up with what she's doing - and I just saw that she had another kid. And named him Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. "He was born on the stormiest, rainy night. Nakoa(warrior)...Mana(strength/spirit) Kaua(rain) po(dark)." Awesome, awesome, awesome.

But here's the kicker - I didn't know who the father was... so I clicked on a few links, and all of a sudden yelled "OMG!!! FRANKIE???!!!!" For those of you that watched the 2-yr fabulousness that was the TV show North Shore in like '04 or '05, you will remember that Frankie was the UNMANAGEABLY hot 6'4" Hawaiian guy who was also like, self-actualized and always managed to do the right thing and show up for any damsel in distress, without expecting any reward.



Omg. I loved Frankie sooooo much. Anyway - I am so happy that they are together. It made some sort of repair in the tears of the universe of my mind to know that Frankie NorthShore and Denise Huxtable found each other.









She's also like, the hippest mom ever.

IN RETROSPECT, THIS IS WHAT 2008 FELT LIKE

Here's to hoping 2009 will be better!